FGB 2009 New Moon in EPOV
by kyla713
Summary: This was a request from icrodriguez, one of my Fandom Gives Back New Moon auction winners in 2009. It is the New Moon movie, told in Edward's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This was an FGB piece that was one by icrodriguez during the New Moon auction, and because I had not completed it yet (far from it), had been hesitant to post it. As you all can probably tell from a glance at my profile, canon Twilight is not my strong suit, and I've never quite been able to capture the magic of the supernatural/vampire aspect of the characters. **

**Hopefully, I have at least made a suitable attempt at capturing them in this EPOV of the New Moon movie. And as you'll notice below, there will be instances that I use the deleted scenes from the DVD, since I really enjoyed what most of them brought to the situations they were in. I have two more parts written of this, that are in another round of editing phases, and will post once they are ready. And I will *knocks on wood* hopefully be able to finish the entire movie sometime soon.**

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><p>Last night was quite possibly one of the longest of my entire existence. From the moment I arrived home after leaving Bella's room, once she had fallen asleep, I was bombarded by Alice's racing thoughts about her plans for the following evening; Bella's birthday.<p>

Even without the ability to read her mind, I knew Bella would not be happy about these 'plans', having spent the entire summer observing her dreading the arrival of her birthday. She'd made me promise not to buy her anything, though I could not even begin to imagine why. She confounded me, as I had always thought that women enjoyed receiving gifts; though my experience _had_ been limited to Esme, Alice and, of course, Rosalie, for the better part of a century. All of whom were complete polar opposites of Bella, even _without_ the addition of vampirism.

After what seemed like forever, I decided that I needed to leave for a while. Not only to part myself from the inner workings of my sister's mind, but I also wanted a quick hunt before school. Although it had become less difficult to be around Bella for the usual periods of time I spent with her, it was by no means easy. And since a majority of my day—and evening—would be spent in her company, I would not take any chances. She was far too precious to me.

I could hear the increasing number of voices as I pulled up to the school; the mundane thoughts of a few hundred kids, until I finally weeded out those that contained the only thing of real importance.

_Bella_.

The fact that she was still at the forefront of Mike Newton's every waking fantasy while in her presence, or incurred the superficial musings of Jessica Stanley, did not bother me nearly as much anymore. Particularly when I saw her face at times like those.

"Oh good, Cullen's here," Mike said, doing nothing to mask his disdain. Nor did Yorkie, but Bella instantly glanced in my direction at the sound of my name.

She barely turned to acknowledge her friends' departure before her attention refocused on me, and there was no mistaking the hint of a smile on her face as I began making my way across the lot toward her.

Everything about her gaze at me told me all that her mind did not, and while I sometimes wished she had more of a sense of self-preservation, it still made me happier than I had been in over eighty years. I was as much of the center of her world as she was mine. Our connection was something that no one in this town, or this world for that matter, could ever comprehend. I had difficulty understanding it, at times; since the two of us, being what we were, defied every law of nature. She was a human, I was a vampire. A predator and his prey. The blood that enticed and lured me in more than anything had in decades, yet I would destroy anyone or anything that ever tried to harm her. I was the one thing she should fear most in this world, yet she loved me unconditionally and unfailingly stood by my side; albeit, foolishly.

The situation was so tragic, it was almost comical. And all because I was far too selfish to let her go.

"Happy birthday," I said as soon as I was close enough for her to hear me.

"Don't remind me," she instantly replied, shaking her head slightly while still keeping her eyes focused on me.

The look of adoration in her eyes as she gazed at me was something I did not believe I would ever grow accustomed to, nor ever feel that I deserved. Yet, as I rested my hands on her waist and pulled her closer, I selfishly relished in it nonetheless.

However, more than that, her reaction at this moment actually amused me. "Bella, your birth is _definitely_ something to celebrate."

My hopes in reviving her smile were diminished as a look akin to despair crossed her features. "Yeah, but my aging's not."

"Your aging?" I replied, unable to restrain a chuckle at the seriousness of her tone, but it quickly faded due to the direction that I knew the conversation was about to take. The entire reason she had been dreading that day for the duration of the summer, unwanting of the attention it brought about, and not only to her person. "I think eighteen is a little young to start worrying about that."

However, even the sobering of my expression as I gazed down at her did not cease the discussion. I could see that much in her eyes before she could even move to respond.

"It's one year older than you," she pointed out, making her view clear. The fact that I was permanently frozen in the body of a seventeen year old while she continued her life, growing and aging as a human, was something that she never allowed to escape her consciousness, nor myself to forget it, either.

Yet, she never took one simple fact into consideration.

"No it isn't. I'm a hundred and nine," I reminded her in an attempt to alleviate her tension, and fortunately—that time—it seemed to have worked. I could see the subtle relaxing of the faint creases around her eyes and forehead that she acquired whenever she was needlessly worrying about something and the slight shift in her gaze at me.

"Well, maybe I shouldn't be dating such an old man. It's gross. I should be thoroughly repulsed," she replied sarcastically and I could not help but to laugh softly as I moved closer to her.

"Uh huh," I replied a moment before I tilted my head to brush my lips gently against hers.

If there was one thing I would never accustom myself to, nor ever tire of, it was the soft, warm feel of her lips against mine. The way her heart would begin accelerating the moment we touched, her breath fanning in short bursts over my skin or her soft whimper against my lips as if she could not get enough of me, or close enough**.** It would be so easy for me to lose myself in her completely; if only I could believe as fervently as she did that I would never hurt her.

However, it was not the case, and that thought alone gave me the strength each time to pull back, though not enough to break away completely. The warmth of her body against the granite cold of my own was intoxicating, but the innocent gesture of our foreheads resting together also helped me to ground myself. It was something far more intimate and soothing than anything I'd ever experienced, and it helped me to keep my perspective and focus of just how important she was to my very existence.

"We have to go to class," I said softly, anticipating the dejected look on her face only seconds before it appeared, regardless of how well she tried to hide it from me as she agreed and stepped away.

_What the hell does she __see_ _in him? Haven't been able to catch her _once_ this summer without him permanently attached to her. I'm not going to steal your precious girlfriend._

The thoughts of Jacob Black echoed loud in my head before he was even fully visible, and it took everything in me to keep my face neutral, both with his inevitable presence and for Bella's sake.

"Wait a second," I stopped her by catching her hand, nodding in the direction of the approaching boy. "Someone wants you."

"Bella!" he called out, his jovial tone and bright smile a sharp contrast to his preceding thoughts as she turned.

"Jacob," Bella replied, surprised by his presence but her smile in return was unmistakable, and to say I was unaffected by it would be a lie. That there was another that could make her smile that instantaneously tore at my heart, though I tried not to show it as she nervously turned to look at me.

It was not difficult to detect the awkwardness in her gaze as she silently asked me for a moment with her friend, and that, I could not deny her. Regardless of my personal feelings, which she had easily picked up on the year before at prom, and no matter how much it hurt, she at least deserved that. "I'll leave you to talk."

"Hello, biceps," her voice carried across the lot as I moved away from her.

_Ah, she likes the muscles. Well, that's one thing I've got over Cullen,_ his triumphant thoughts echoed in my head, even as I tried to block them out. _You're way too good for him, Bella._

As their conversation continued, they began to run more rampant.

_If only we _could _hang out more without _him_ lurking around every moment of the day. God, he can't even let her have a conversation without him present. Insecure much? Back off and let her breathe._

"I'm alright. I prefer the res school's exclusivity. They let _any_ old riff raff into this place," he replied to her suggestion, and I once again had to restrain a growl at the insinuation, however subtle it might have been to I could not resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"I see. Why're you slumming it?"

_My car is as good an excuse as any. Can't let her know I came all the way out here just to give her the present I've gotten her. And inviting her to La Push is as good a way as any to ensure she'd be alone._

I drew in a deep breath, if only to calm myself as he marveled at her laugh, much as I did every time I heard that glorious sound, and her, so oblivious to her effect on him. Moreover, the ease and comfort she felt with him as they spoke radiated off her. Their conversation and interaction was so effortless, in contrast to how _everything_ needed to be with me; complicated, guarded. I could honestly say that I was envious of Jacob Black.

Then his thoughts shifted again as he got around to the _real_ reason behind his visit; her birthday. His mind was running at a rapid pace as he witnessed her annoyance at the mention of it, praying that she would at least enjoy the gift he had so painstakingly and diligently chosen for her.

To his relief—and my dismay—she seemed nothing less than sincere when she expressed how perfect it was and thanked him.

"No problem," he replied, trying unsuccessfully to hide his triumphant smirk.

Fortunately, it was shortlived, as he glanced over to me where I still waited for her to join me inside.

_You don't know how lucky you are, Cullen,_ he mentally chided as they said goodbye and he took her in his arms, glaring at me over her shoulder.

I myself was not above causing a scene when it came to her, but I did not want to spoil any part of her birthday, despite the low regard she held for it. If I could not give her an actual gift, I could at least grant her that much.

However, even that did not seem to quell the overwhelming emotion churning inside me. Since the moment Bella walked into my world, I actually _felt_ like just another seventeen-year-old male for the first time in nearly a century. And at that moment, I wanted to figuratively rip the head off the guy obviously flirting with and laying his hands on my girlfriend. The fact that I could _literally_ do so was _entirely_ beside the point.

The power of jealousy was more consuming that I'd ever thought possible, and also, completely ridiculous. Bella loved me, rationally or not. It was me that she was walking away with. Yet one thing continued to eat away at me.

"So how come Jacob Black gets to give you a gift and I don't?" I asked challengingly, returning my gaze to her as we walked down the hallway toward class.

Her features shifted uncomfortably, while still replying in a tone that indicated how obvious she felt her answer was. "Because I have nothing that I can give back to you."

I had come to expect answers like that from her, but it never became easier to hear or handle. She never could grasp the concept of what she meant to me, and somehow, I doubted that she ever would. "Bella, you give me everything just by breathing."

Her gaze left me and she looked down in embarrassment. "See? Like, that's all I want."

I chuckled slightly at her response, marveling at how easy it was to please her at times.

"I mean, that's not all I want, though, and you know that. So I'm not even gonna go there," she continued pointedly and I sighed heavily, the mood between us shifting abruptly. I'd foolishly hoped that we could at least get through the remainder of the day without any more uncomfortable discussions between us. She knew, if not completely understood, my feelings on the matter of her becoming one of us. Yet, she never relinquished her persistence on it, and every time, it only reminded me of how different her life would have been if I hadn't become part of it.

She would be with someone like Jacob.

As usual, she was more perceptive to my moods than I would have liked, though my inability to mask myself with her probably did not aid in my efforts. "Jacob's a friend, you know? Something maybe you're not too familiar with. It's a person that you don't want to kiss or kill, but enjoy their company nonetheless."

"Mmm-hmm?" I replied as she looked up at me almost defiantly. "Well, your friend just spent two weeks trying to find the perfect dreamcatcher."

_Petty, Cullen. Extremely petty,_my subconscious scolded, and I honestly couldn't agree more. Though, at the moment, it was becoming exceedingly more difficult to rationalize.

"If you don't like his thoughts, then quit reading them," she stated and I drew in a deep breath. His thoughts were not the only thing kept looming around in my head. The images conjured in his fantasies continued to torment me long after he had already departed the school grounds. Her lips against his, her arms wrapped around him... among other things that I would sooner forget.

"It's kind of hard not to," I replied honestly, and for once, I was actually thankful for the fluttering thoughts of my sister as we stepped through the double doors, calling out her name as she not so subtly leapt over the railing.

"Happy Birthday!" she announced as she engulfed Bella in a hug, while she quickly hushed her. Alice meekly pulled away with a small smile that hinted that she was not apologetic at all, and handed her a box.

_I'll bet you anything she'll pull it off,_ Jasper's thoughts echoed through my mind, and I couldn't help but smirk.

If anyone could, it _would_ be Alice. Watching my sister with Bella was always a comfort and a delight, having welcomed her into our family with open arms. The bond that had formed between the two of them was unparalleled by any other member of my family aside from myself, regardless of how much they loved— or in the case of Rosalie, despised— her. Alice had in Bella what she had been missing for so long as well; a little sister to dote upon and spoil in a way that Rosalie was always far too bristled for.

I knew that if that had been me, Bella would have given me an earful; though the thought had occurred to me on more than one occasion over the summer. A new car to replace the beast she insisted on keeping was one thing that consistently ran through my mind. However, I doubted even Jasper's help with manipulating her emotions as he was doing right at that very second would have saved me for long. Therefore, I finally decided to simply let it go.

My sister, on the other hand, I knew would not relent so easily.

_Any second now, Edward. She will relent. I can already see her breaking down,_ Alice's thoughts carried over to me, and I fought against the smile that was threatening to break through.

"Okay, alright," Bella finally surrendered and an excited squeal left Alice, confirming the time of her party before bouncing back to Jasper. The sudden dawn of realization crossed Bella's face and her gaze returned to the couple. "Jasper, no fair with the mood control thing."

Alice shamelessly laughed and even Jasper, the most withdrawn and cautious of us all, could not contain a smile as well. "Sorry, Bella. Happy," he paused, watching her tense and feeling the anxiety rising in her that even _I _couldn't miss, without his gift. "Nevermind."

She sighed heavily in defeat, realizing that she had just agreed to be the center of attention for the entire evening, and smacked my chest lightly with the box in her hand. "You can't trust vampires," I said and she gave a slight roll of her eyes as she began to walk away. "Trust me."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: And here is the second installment. Hope to have the third part up soon as well. :) And once again, I have taken the liberty of using the deleted scene from the classroom since I did love Edward's little comment about Emmett in there. **

**Thank you to everyone reading my attempt at canon here, and for your support. :)**

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><p><em>The movies are always so much better than the books...<em>

_I think this has to be the best portrayal on film. Thank you**, **__Mr. Berty...__**  
><strong>__  
>I should <em>really_ start reading the class assignments. I was _so_ not ready for this. Don't do it, Romeo! She's not really dead!_

_You need to pass, Newton. Don't fall asleep... damn it! Great, now Jess is gonna be all sappy and clingy all afternoon. Fabulous. Why didn't I just stay single?_

Movie day in English; never entertaining. The droning, scattered thoughts of my classmates filtered through my head, and there was never anything unique or different about them. Regardless of the passage of time or the changes in culture, one thing was always unanimous... Shakespeare was unfailingly either over- or underrated.

The only difference that time around was the presence beside me, though I could still feel the discomfort of what had transpired in the corridor earlier radiating off her. And with a short intake of breath, I knew that my one source of comforting silence was about to come to an abrupt halt.

"Edward, I really _hate _... being celebrated."

Shifting slightly, I kept my voice low to reply to her, feeling the need to impress upon her the importance of this evening.

"Come on. The last birthday any of us had was Emmett. And that was when Bing Crosby was top of the charts," I began and could not help but chuckle. It was incredible the different meaning that time held for a vampire, when the passing of it ceased to hold any importance. There was nothing to gain or lose; we all just simply existed. Until Bella, and she needed to understand that. "They're all very excited about this. Something fun. Different. Please."

With a small, resigned sigh, she broke eye contact and looked away, and I couldn't help but marvel briefly at just how beautiful she was in that moment. Although she did make her displeasure with me at my statement abundantly clear, it was obvious that she knew I was right, and she would do anything to make my family happy, even at her own 'expense'.

"There are worse tragedies than a party," I murmured softly, yet her posture remained stiff, staring blankly at the television. The feeling of her being upset with me over something so simple unnerved me more than I could have ever imagined being affected by anyone. Nothing had ever shaken me as much as this one human girl; however, the differences between us came across strongly at moments like that. I needed to break it down for her in a way that she could truly understand. "I mean look at Romeo. Killed his true love out of sheer stupidity. Imagine living with that."

And with that thought, my mind traveled momentarily to another place and time; to a moment I felt the same pain and anguish as the character on the screen.

"Though I do envy him one thing."

"Juliet is like perfect. If you like that obviously beautiful sort of thing." Her response came immediately, and as usual, her assumptions were far off the mark.

Which, naturally, I found highly amusing, as with so much when it came to her. It was truly difficult to determine which of us was the most self-deprecating at times, though hers was completely unjustified.

"No, not the girl, the um... the suicide," I replied and her expression shifted ever so slightly, leaving no doubt that my response had been the last one she'd expected.

And too stunned to give any more of a reaction.

"It's nearly impossible for uh... some... people," I smirked at the extremely loose term of definition for what we were, though I could not escape the sour taste it left on my tongue. "For humans, a little poison, a dagger to the heart. So many different options."

Finally turning my gaze back to her, I half-expected to find anger etched across her features, but instead, I was met by confusion. Distress. Everything I never wished to see in those beautiful brown depths. "Why would you say that?"

It was a discussion I had never planned to have with her; never let her know the darker, morbid thoughts that crossed my mind at times. Yet, what better way to exemplify her meaning to me,I thought as I reached my hand to rest over hers on her lap.

"Because I had to consider it once," I responded, my eyes moving unseeingly to the front of the room, my face tensing as more unwelcome memories flooded through me.

Mirrors.

Fire.

Her screams as the venomous teeth pierced her skin.

Rage.

Fear.

"I didn't know if I'd get to you in time. I had to come up with some kind of plan." I was so lost in my reverie that I barely took note in her reaction, trying as hard as I could to dispense the images racing through my mind. The despair of imagining my existence without her in it—it was unbearable.

"What was the plan?" she inquired, sharply tearing me from my thoughts.

"That I'd go to Italy and provoke the Volturi," I replied as if it were the most casual topic of conversation before I became completely aware of whom I was having the conversation _with_.

"The what?"

The uncertainty in her voice caused my attention to return completely to the current moment, and the uneasiness to consume me. "The Volturi..."

_If there's one thing I cannot stand, it's talking during a lesson. These Cullens are all the same, _Mr. Berty's annoyance at the disruption seared through me, along with his distaste for my family. As did so many others with the superiority complex he possessed.

"Now, who would like to repeat the last few lines of iambic pentameter just to show they _were _paying attention. Mr. Cullen?"

The barely contained, arrogant smirk on his face would have been easily missed if not for my insight into the inner workings of his mind, firmly believing that he'd trapped me into a corner.

Inhaling deeply, I gave the air of discomfort, allowing him just one more moment of that feeling of triumph. "Yes, Mr. Berty," I replied, shifting slightly in my chair and begrudgingly releasing Bella's hand, as every eye in the room turned to me. A wide range of their thoughts flooded through me, but my attention remained locked on the man in the front of the room as I began to recite the lines I'd memorized long before he was even born.

Yet as I began to utter the familiar words that had crossed my lips dozens of times over the decades, the impact they had on me was entirely different. Never before had I had the ability to relate to the pain and anguish in Romeo's desperate speech—all of which had become frightfully familiar. Every word was akin to my own thoughts as I made my way to Phoenix, after learning that Bella had disappeared. The images that played in my mind at Alice's vision of the lifeless form of the love of my existence if I hadn't gotten there in time. Through James' eyes as he gazed down at her broken body. The agony at hearing her cries as I drew closer to that studio, all the while plotting my 'contingency plan', knowing I had no desire for exist if Bella was not a part of it. The terror that flooded through me at the prospect of being unable to stop and becoming responsible for draining the life I treasured so much from her myself.

"O, here will I set up my everlasting rest. And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars from this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last. Arms, take your last embrace. And lips, o you, the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss, a dateless bargain to engrossing death."

_Show off little punk,_he mentally sneered before beginning to turn back toward the screen. "Eyes on the screen, people."

_One battle won__**,**__ and yet another to go, _I thought as all but one pair of eyes left me. I knew for a fact that this newly revealed aspect of my world would only peak her curiosity, and lead to a long discussion I was not certain that I was prepared to face with her. She was about to become aware of the one part of my world that I never wanted her involved with, as _they_ would never understand or condone her knowledge of any of aspect of it, let alone her existence within it.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So, this is the last already complete installment of this, but I am trying to finish up the next part, though as you can imagine from where this one will leave off, the next will be an intense portion of the movie, and I'm hoping that I will be able to capture it as well as the movie did. *fingers crossed* **

**This one took a lot of work an effort from a collective of people, and you all know who you are, and I truly appreciate you more than I could ever express. And thank you to icrodriguez for setting this challenge upon me, and for your infinite patience with me to write and post this. **

**Have a happy and safe holiday season everyone :)**

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><p>Throughout the remainder of the day, I could feel Bella's questioning eyes upon me. I had been able to avoid the discussion that had begun in the classroom earlier for the better part of the day, due to the close proximity of the others around her.<p>

_Never before have I been so grateful for the presence of the likes of Mike Newton, Eric Yorkie, and most especially, Jessica Stanley, as I was today._

However, upon reaching my family's residence that evening for her party, I knew that I could no longer prolong the inevitable. I had been given strict instructions by Alice to keep Bella occupied while she finished the final preparations for the party. So I took the opportunity to bring Bella into Carlisle's office, to the large portrait he had hanging there.

"The Volturi are a very old, very powerful family. I guess they're the closest thing to royalty my world has," I began as she gazed over the elaborate painting in wonder, until my all too observant love's eyes caught one particular detail that had her almost hesitant to voice it.

"Is that Carlisle?" she asked in obvious disbelief that the Carlisle she had come to admire and adore had actually been associated with the Volturi— even with the vague amount of information I'd given her thus far.

"Yeah. He lived with them for a few decades. Described them as very refined. No respect for human life, of course, but a respect for the arts and the sciences, at least. And the law. Above all, the law," I replied, feeling the tension return to my body as the memory of Carlisle's thoughts and descriptions of the horror and malice of the Volturi over the years, became fresh in my mind.

"Vampires have laws?" she asked with more than a slight hint of skepticism in her voice. Which was understandable, considering her own experiences with vampires were limited to my family, who attempted to blend into human society, and those who lived completely outside of it, such as Laurent, Victoria and James. I could see how the idea that there were actually any sort of universal laws in place for creatures so drastically different in their lifestyle, could be seen as laughable.

"Not very many. And only one that's regularly enforced."

"What is it?"

"That we keep the existence of our kind a secret. We don't make spectacles of ourselves, and we don't kill conspicuously," I said, the images continuing to bombard me as I spoke, the event that had led to Carlisle's decision to leave Volterra behind—the carefree nature with which Aro approached the terrified vampire as he awaited his punishment for the non-observance of the law. The exact image I had in my own mind as I'd contemplated my own demise only a few short months before. Although, instead of the brief moment of respite on the creature's face as Aro seemingly caressed his face, perhaps thinking he would show mercy, I would have willingly knelt before him. "Unless, of course, you want to die."

"You gotta stop talking about that," she said emphatically, obviously catching the hint of humor in my voice as I so casually added my final statement. "I can't even _think_about someone hurting you."

Her defensiveness over my safety was quite comical, and despite my best efforts, I could not mask my amusement. Despite everything we'd been through already, she still did not seem to truly understand. "Bella, the only thing that can hurt me is you. And I don't have anything else to be afraid of."

"That's not true," she retorted sharply, her gaze returning to me, and there was no question in my mind as to what she was referring to.

"Victoria?" I said in a calm voice, trying to ease the worry and tension I could see mounting in her features. "She'll come for me one day. Alice will see when she decides, and we'll be ready."

"_I_ could protect _you_," she said, the stubbornness returning to her voice. "If you change me."

I could see in her eyes as I stepped toward her and rested my hands on her waist, her distaste for constantly being the damsel in distress. Having needed me to save her from elements of both her world and mine, she hated the feeling of inequality between us. She only saw me as the hero, the Superman with her being the Lois Lane–never once seeing that she was the one who, in fact, saved _me_.

"Bella, you already do protect me. You're my only reason to stay... _alive_. If that's what I am. But it's my job to protect you," I stated firmly, before the barely restrained excitement of Alice's thoughts filled my head and I lifted my gaze to glance at the door. "From everyone except my sister."

"It's time!" Alice sang as she slid the door open, practically bouncing toward Bella and taking her hand. "It's time, it's time, it's time!"

The tension of the previous moment was effectively broken, as Bella gave me one last glance of discomfort before she was pulled from the room by my sister. _How easily the moods of humans can be shifted with the simplest of events. _

I followed behind them and watched as Bella paused at the top of the stairs momentarily, taking in the sight of the completely transformed room below. Candles and flowers filled the room with a soft glow and heavy fragrance. Apparently, my thoughts were no mystery to Alice, as her mind clearly stated.

_Say nothing, Edward. Don't ruin this for Bella or the family._

My steps quickened slightly as Bella tripped on the last stair, but she quickly righted herself, unharmed. I stopped at the bottom, watching as she interacted with my family. For one fleeting moment, my life actually felt somewhat normal, observing the love and adoration in the eyes of my parents for my girlfriend, as if she'd always belonged to the family. The sisterly affection and antics of Alice, sneaking Bella's camera out of her bag and capturing the moment between her and Esme.

And even Emmett.

"Dating an older woman. Hot." I turned my gaze to him in disbelief and shook my head, unable to find the words to reply. I gave a short, breathy laugh in response as his features shifted to that of clueless confusion. "What?"

I looked away from him, rolling my eyes and reminding myself, _that's just Emmett_. Sometimes, though I'd be damned if I admitted it, I envied his ability to be so carefree and childlike. It was my assumption that it was only this that made his connection with Rosalie possible. Her vile personality seemed to completely clash with everything that Emmett was, but perhaps, that was why they worked. He could always remain calm with her, particularly at times when she could test even Carlisle's infinite patience.

As Rosalie displayed so glaringly at times such as that—being so put out by the prospect of having to give Bella a present that she couldn't even allow her to open it before blurting out its contents. Nor would she allow herself to be suspected of doing anything nice for Bella, the annoyance on her face evident as she held out the small wrapped package and informing her of Alice's involvement as Bella took it into her hand.

_Can't get over yourself for even one evening, can you?_I thought to myself bitterly, just as Alice pulled me by the arm to stand beside Bella.

_Just remember what's important, Edward,_Alice reminded silently as I stood beside Bella, her presence instantly calming me as my sister took our picture. I allowed myself once again to immerse myself in the moment, the way she so easily blended in with my family. Maybe Carlisle, Esme and Alice were right, perhaps this could actually work. I didn't have to be alone, and our family could finally be complete - but only as long as she remained human. That was my only stipulation, about which my family didn't agree... well, most of them, anyway.

Bella hissed as she began opening Esme and Carlisle's present, holding her finger up in front of her. "Ow, paper cut."

The single drop of blood on the carpet echoed through the room, but not nearly as loudly as the thoughts of the one who had remained silent this entire time - Jasper.

My usually sedate-minded brother instantly had a million thoughts passing through him. The beast he worked so hard to bury was clawing its way to the surface as the scent of Bella's blood filled his senses, turning his mind into a battlefield.

_You want it... you need it, _the monster cried out as I witnessed his nostrils flaring.  
><em><br>No, it's Bella, _his quickly waning reason reminded him.

_Take her!_ His inner demon screamed, and all rational thought left him as I watched his eyes blacken and he began moving toward Bella. Everything happened so fast, I had no time to plan or to think, I simply reacted—separating Jasper from Bella the only way I could. My head was filled with the frantic thoughts from the others in the room, but it was Esme's concern for Bella that caught my attention first, as Carlisle and Emmett fought to restrain Jasper. And I felt the burning in my throat that I'd learned to ignore, yet couldn't this time. It was too powerful.

"Jaz. Jaz. It's okay. It's just a little..." Alice attempted to calm Jasper, as only she could, but was frozen by the very same thing as everyone else in the room. "... blood."

We all turned to gaze at Bella, her scent all the more powerful by the fresh gash on her arm, caused by the careless way I'd thrown her across the room without even taking heed to my actions. With a force that, in my thoughtlessness, could have shattered every bone in her body and killed her, taking her away from me instantly.

Carlisle rushed to her side, urging Emmett to remove Jasper from the room, while regret and sadness filled Esme and Alice. They all quickly removed themselves, unable to remain in the room with the strong scent of Bella's blood filling the air.

How could I have permitted myself to believe that something like that would not happen, that things could ever be normal with Bella? That vampires and humans could co-exist without consequence? It was a pipedream, a fantasy.

Carlisle spoke softly to Bella before turning his eyes hesitantly to me. "Check on Jasper. I'm sure he's very upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now." His gaze locked intently on me as mine remained on Bella, feeling my whole world crashing around me. "Edward."

I looked to him when he spoke my name, yet still felt as if I were in a trance as I turned to walk away. What could I possibly say to Jasper? I could already hear him berating himself in the kitchen while Alice attempted to soothe him, but the moment his eyes met mine when I entered, we only just stared at each other.

In his mind, I could hear him begging for my forgiveness, assuring me that he'd hunted only hours before to prevent this. That he would rather leave than to subject me or Bella to something like that. But it was too late; the damage was done and I had no one to blame but myself.

**x-x-x**

I unwillingly listened to every word spoken in the upstairs office between Carlisle and Bella, and eventually, had to step outside to calm myself. I knew what she'd say before she could even speak, and I couldn't listen. Unfortunately, I was forced to, anyway. The freeness with which she spoke of our kind and our existence, the faith and compassion she held for us, never ceased to both fascinate and frustrate me. How could she still trust so absolutely after what she had just witnessed, confirmation of everything I had ever warned her about? Why, for once in her nonsensical mind, could she not see reason and do the rational thing of walking away from me?

The drive back to her house was eerily silent, and I could feel the uneasiness in response to my tense demeanor coming off her in waves.

"Say something," she finally spoke, breaking the silence and warily turning her head toward me.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, knowing there was nothing I _could_say that would right the situation between us.

"That I'm a total klutz, but it's okay," she replied, trying to make light of her infamous clumsiness, but I never budged. She seemed to shift, reassuring me instead of requesting the reverse. "Things will go back to normal."

However, nothing could soothe me that time, not even Bella. She didn't seem to comprehend the immensity of what had just transpired back at the house. "Normal people get paper cuts. If you had a normal party, it would have come down to a Band-Aid." I felt my body tense and my hand tighten infinitesimally on the steering wheel, voicing a reality that, hours before, I had allowed myself to be blissfully ignorant of… but not anymore. "If I were a normal boyfriend, I wouldn't have to fight the urge to kill you…"

"Stop," she interrupted me sharply, as usual, shutting out the obvious danger between us. Never wanting to face the fact that nothing about me was good for her. "I don't want normal. I want you."

Her stubbornness would be her downfall, of that I was certain. I pulled her truck to a stop in front of her house, still unsure of what I could say to her. I didn't want to hurt her, but it seemed like an inevitability, no matter what I did. And I knew that no warning I could give her would ever scare her away, if what happened in the matter of seconds that night with Jasper hadn't done so. I knew I had to stop being selfish, but I didn't know if I had the strength to do so.

"You can't protect me... from everything," her voice interrupted my thoughts after I must have been silent for too long. "At some point, something's gonna separate us. It's gonna be an accident or illness or old age, as long as I'm human. And the only solution is to change me."

I shook my head distractedly. "That's not a solution. That's a tragedy."

"You're not gonna want me when I look like a grandmother."

For the first time in as long as I'd known her, I felt a genuine flash of anger at her words, and a flood of thoughts entered my mind at once as I rushed around to her side of the truck. She really believed that my love for her was that superficial? That I'd only want her when she was young and beautiful? How typically teenage girl.

I opened her door, composing myself enough in an attempt to speak to her calmly. "Bella, do you not understand my feelings for you at all?"

Bella paused to gaze at me, her hesitance in speaking clearly visible. "Carlisle told me... how you feel about your soul. I don't believe that. So don't worry about mine."

"You should go inside," I said emotionlessly; she couldn't understand it, and I would never want her to. She'd be far better off with none of it in her life.

Her face became despondent in response to my almost cold tone, quickly replaced by determination as she slid out of the truck. She slammed the door closed behind her and moved closer, as I took a step back for every one that she took toward me, until she stopped. Her eyes ran the length of my body as she took in the space I had put between us, and made a final step forward to close it. She nervously licked her lips and looked up at me briefly before she began to speak.

"It's still my birthday. Can I ask one thing?" Her gaze held mine as she awaited my answer, but I never responded. I could practically see it in her eyes what it was that she would ask, and even though I knew I should not comply, I also knew that I would never be able to deny her, or myself. "Kiss me?"

_This is it_, I thought as I slowly moved toward her, lowering my lips to hers in a gentle kiss. The last time I would feel her lips against mine, to lose myself in the softness of them. To hear the way her heart would accelerate, causing her blood to pump faster through her veins, making her scent all the more pungent— as did the covered wound mere inches from my face on her arm. I tried to drown it out, fighting against it with agonizing grunts and wishing for just a few more moments before I had to break away forever.

But it was too much, and I had to push her away with a pained grimace. I couldn't do it anymore; I knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt. I couldn't endanger her that way, risking her life for the simple pleasure of a touch. She deserved something far better.

"I love you." I heard her murmur after I successfully composed myself and was able to take a breath.

"I love you," I replied quietly before turning from her and walking away, knowing exactly what I needed to do, and dreading every minute of it.

**x-x-x**

After informing my family of my plans—hearing Alice and Esme's pleas to change my mind, and Rosalie's condemnation of me as a selfish bastard, Jasper's guilt and regret, Carlisle's reluctant understanding and Emmett's rage—they finally agreed to leave Forks and separate themselves from Bella. It was for the best; they all had to know that.

Once she left for school, I spent hours in her room, committing everything about it to memory. The collage of papers and pictures on the corkboard above her desk, the softness of the comforter I'd rested on for countless nights, just watching her sleep. But mostly, the scent. I never wanted to forget that scent, the one that led me to the first semblance of happiness and serenity I'd felt in nearly a century. Closing my eyes, I drew in a deep breath, drowning myself in it one more time. There was no way to give justice to the smell, the heaven and hell blended together in one glorious essence that I would never experience again.

As I walked along her bed, my eyes fell on the open scrapbook that Bella's mother had gotten her for her birthday, to the picture that rested on the first page. The photo was noticeably folded lengthwise and only my image remained. I tugged it free from the page and unfolded it, looking down at the beautiful face that appeared on the other side.

Less than twenty-four hours had passed since that picture was taken, yet things could not have been more different. I was content—happy, even—in the photograph, with Bella gazing up at me as if everything she needed resided within me. And knowing her as I did, that had not changed and it was tearing me apart.

I wished that I could find some way to avoid what I knew must be done.

I heard her truck rumbling up the road and I quickly made my way out the window, waiting for her beside the house as she pulled up. The look of relief on her face when she came to a stop and stepped out of the truck was short-lived, her expression gradually shifting to confusion as I stood stoically on the lawn. Her brow furrowed slightly as she began to walk toward me, nervously taking in my appearance. I could only imagine the worry I had caused her when I did not arrive at school that morning, and she'd had no word from me all day. There had not been a single day since the very beginning that I had disappeared without telling her, and I knew the events of the night before would be weighing almost as heavily on her mind as they were on mine.

Her steps grew hesitant, her eyes flickering over me as she came closer. "Hey."

Her voice was soft and nervous, obviously waiting for some form of explanation. I was unsure of exactly what to expect from her reaction, and since Charlie would be home before long, I knew that the conversation could not take place there. There could not be a scene or else it would not work. With a brief glance around, I brought my eyes back to hers and nodded toward the woods just behind me. "Come and take a walk with me."

I gazed at her blank, confused expression for a moment before turning and walking toward the trees, hearing her footsteps finally begin to follow me. I never looked back again as we moved deeper into the woods, until nothing but the sounds of the birds echoed through the air, only the sight of an endless sea of trees surrounding us. Where there was no possibility of a single soul hearing or seeing us. I came to a stop and paused to steel myself in preparation for the most excruciating moment of my entire existence, but even as I turned for her to see me, I still could not look her in the eyes. "We have to leave Forks."

She took a moment to process what I had said and then shifted slightly as she stammered, "Why?"

"Carlisle's supposed to be ten years older than he looks, and people are starting to notice," I replied, finally able to bring my eyes to meet hers, as my response was not a complete lie, only a slight fabrication.

"Okay I..." she paused, and I could practically see her thoughts running rapidly through her mind, obviously unprepared for me to say something like this. "I've gotta think of something to say to Charlie."

Then her face froze, her eyes locked on me as what I was telling her finally became clear. It was absolutely agonizing to keep my expression blank, without emotion or any contradiction to the realization she was coming to.

"When you say 'we'..." she began, her eyes flickering nervously before returning to me in expectation.

I fought to keep my expression neutral before I could look at her again, knowing how deeply my next response would affect her. "I mean my family and myself."

She nodded painfully and began to tremble, her breathing accelerating as she attempted to reason with me. "Edward, what happened with Jasper? It's nothing."

"You're right. It _was_ nothing. Nothing but what I always expected. And _nothing_ compared to what _could_have happened," I replied as the images that had not left my mind continued replaying over and over, affirming that I was doing what was best for her. No matter how much it hurt either of us. "You just don't belong in my world, Bella."

"I belong with you," she choked out softly in disbelief, only to have me contradict her in the next breath. "I'm coming."

Her persistence was torture to my ears, leaving me with no alternative but to deliver the inevitable painful blow. The most horrendous lie that had left my lips in my decades of constant deception. "Bella. I don't _want_you to come."

Bella inhaled a shaky breath, and could almost see her curling in on herself under my icy glare. "You don't... want me?"

The utter devastation in her expression was unbearable to witness, as she so effortlessly believed every word I said. The selfish beast inside of me was screaming to tell her the truth, to end the charade, but for once, I was not going to think of myself. I needed to let her go. "No."

Her eyes grew more pained and her breaths became more staggered, causing her body to tremble more. "That changes things. A lot."

With her shattered expression, I felt a chord of fear being struck deep within me. Would she destroy herself over this? I knew that if anything ever happened to her because of what I had done, I would never forgive myself. So I decided to make one last selfish request. "But if it's not too much to ask, can you just promise me something?" She gazed at me in disbelief, unable to form the words to either agree or contest, which I used to my advantage. "Don't do anything reckless. For Charlie's sake." I added. "And I'll promise something to you in return."

I lowered my gaze from hers, knowing all too well that I would never be able to utter the following words while looking her in the eyes. As observant as she was, even in the anguish she was experiencing, she would see right through me and the fraud that I was. "This is the last time you'll ever see me. I won't come back. And you can go on with your life without any interference from me. It'll be like I never existed, I promise."

Her pain shifted to anger with my words, her jaw tightening as she shook her head in an almost defiant manner. "If this is about my soul, take it. I don't want it without you."

"It's not about your soul," I replied, struggling to hold my composure and keep my eyes on hers. "You're just not good for me."

The statement had its intended result as I watched her crumble into despair again, her fragile self-esteem rapidly becoming her own worst enemy. She believed it, absolutely. The effect my words had on her was driving a dagger into my own dead heart. I was hurting her, the last thing I had ever wanted to do, and I was using her own insecurities against her. I was loathsome and despicable, and I _deserved_ to be damned for eternity, even if I had not been already. "Not good enough for you."

"I'm just sorry I let this go on for so long," I replied in the first truly honest statement I had made all night. If I had left and stayed away back in the beginning, none of this would have happened. She never would have come so close to death as many times as she had since her first contact with me.

"Please... don't," she breathed out heavily, her eyes pleading with me along with her words.

_This has to end. Now,_I thought to myself as I hardened my expression one final time, and uttered the last word I would ever want to say to her, knowing there was no turning back from it. "Goodbye."

Her breaths came in short bursts and she began shaking more noticeably, breaking me as well. I leaned in to kiss her hair before she could look up to witness me falling apart, and I lingered there. Touching her face, feeling the softness of her hair... severing my world from hers. I winced with the pain that thought brought me.

How could she believe me so effortlessly? How could she not see that I was dying all over again, that there was no me without her anymore? After all we'd been through in such a short period of months, why couldn't she see through my dishonesty?

_I need to pull myself together. I cannot let her see this. I have to let her go, _I thought as my eyes shot open, steeling myself long enough to extract myself from her presence and disappear from her sight, up into the trees to watch her.

I heard her mutter my name softly, frozen in her spot as she opened her eyes to realize I was gone. For a moment, I thought she would break down in tears, possibly even turn around to head back home. Until her head lifted abruptly, gazing out into the trees and she began moving in my direction, calling out my name with more force.

"No, Bella. Please, just turn around, love," I choked out faintly from my perch above, following her from tree to tree as she stormed into the woods in her desperate search. Time passed far too quickly and it began to grow dark before she finally stopped to look around her. I witnessed the fear settle in as she realized that she was lost, and there was nothing I could do for her. I fought to stay in place as she stepped forward into the dark, tripping over a raised root and hurdling to the ground.

I watched her body curl into a ball, but I was powerless to do anything. Not only because I could not bear to leave her there, alone in the middle of the forest, but also as a reminder for the months and years to come, if I ever questioned my decision to leave. I could not save her anymore. She was right about one thing the night before; I could not protect her from _everything_. But I could protect her from _me_ and I needed that image imbedded in my mind. It was just more evidence of the monster I truly was.

_I_ inflicted that pain on her. _That_ was what came of acting upon my desires. It made the reason clear as to why I should not be blessed with something as beautiful and pure as that young girl; I only had the capacity to destroy. Love wasn't supposed to hurt like that.

I heard voices calling her name in the distance, but they were still too far away. My gaze remained fixed on Bella, appearing more fragile than simply human and lying there in the cold damp forest, showing no sign of intent or desire to move. My hand tightened around the branch beside me, willing myself once again not drop to the ground and gather her into my arms, selfishly reclaiming what did not rightfully belong to me.

_Get up, Bella. Please, get up and leave this forest, _I internally pleaded until my fingers unconsciously snapped the branch in my hand and I froze stock still, praying that it would not alert her to my position. She never stirred so much as a single muscle, still ignorant of my presence. However, she was the only creature in the vicinity that was. The deer scampered, birds whisked away from the treetops above me, and a sudden, rancid stench filled the air, causing my fists to clench and my lips to retract over my teeth. My eyes locked with the immense black beast, his thoughts swarming my head.

_Parasite. Get away from her,_ his mind seethed as he transformed before my eyes, shifting into the form of a man. His glare never left me as he dressed and hurried forward, lifting her from the ground and holding her carefully against his massive chest. _Cold but still alive. Charlie will be relieved._

As I watched him whisk her away, I stayed until I could hear the relief in Charlie's thoughts as he took her into his arms, to see through his eyes that she was safe as he carried her into the house.

_She's safe now. I can go._

* * *

><p><em>AN: I've had a few people question my interpretation of this particular aspect of the story, whether Edward had actually stayed. This was just my own sequence of events in my head, and may or may not correlate with the actuality. And anyone who knows me knows all too well that I have a very firm image of who Edward is in my mind, and it's very difficult to sway me on it lol. So this is what _my_ Edward __in my head would have done, and what I always envisioned in watching the movie, down to making sure she was safe with Charlie. :) _


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am apologizing in advance for my cluelessness on what the heck Aro says in Italian in response to Bella's whole "you don't know a thing about his soul" thing. In all honesty, I spent a lot of time googling it, and trying to find one singular translation/interpretation of what he's saying, and they are remarkably numerous. So I've had no choice but to once again go along with my own interpretation. **

**Thank you to my girls who give me endless amounts of encouragement when I'm feeling utterly lackluster, and again, to icrodriguez for requesting this in the first place and giving me the challenge I never would have set forth on myself. And thank you all for reading my drabbles. **

* * *

><p>The months following that night in the woods were hell, but it was no less than I deserved. Perhaps it was nothing more or less than the exchange for the brief period of happiness I'd been granted with Bella; something that would haunt me for the remainder of my existence … as long as I had a purpose to do so.<p>

Even with the distance I had placed between us, she was still the reason behind every action I took or decision I made. As long as she existed, I would endeavor to keep her safe, no matter what I had to do, how far I had to go, or how thirsty I became. It was all a penance worth paying to ensure that no harm would ever come to her, for as long as I could prevent it. The one remaining threat to her because of me was exactly what I sought—Victoria.

I cared for nothing else in that time. My family still had each other, or at the very least, their mates—they didn't need me for survival. Time would heal Bella's heart, as long as I remained away with no reminders of my presence in her life, including the horrors I had brought to it. And she would have a chance to be truly happy, without having to sacrifice a thing.

My world came to a screeching halt with one single phone call. If it had been any other member of my family, I would have suspected there was a chance of them simply pleading with me to come back. However, when Rosalie's number appeared on the screen, I felt compelled to answer. Of any of them, she would be the last to call me unless something was drastically wrong. And unfortunately, I was proven right.

Alice had returned to Forks. She'd had a vision of Bella jumping off a high cliff, but nothing of her coming back out of the water. Rosalie attempted to convince me to see reason and return to the family, "where I belonged", but her words fell on deaf ears.

No, Bella could not be dead. Alice's visions had been wrong before. Or maybe Rosalie was simply trying to devise a scheme to force me to return. I would not have put it past her, knowing that Bella was my reason for staying away. Anything but Bella ceasing to exist; there was no way.

I ended the call with Rosalie abruptly and dialed Bella's house, praying to hear that beautiful voice come through. Then Rosalie would be wrong and I could hang up, keeping my promise to never interfere with her life again. I would know she was safe, alive.

"Swan residence." Even with the weak connection of my phone, I knew there was no way that was Bella, or her father, for that matter. It was a voice that had not left my consciousness once since first I heard it—Jacob Black.

I attempted to disguise my voice, posing as Carlisle and asking to speak with Chief Swan. His voice would not deceive me, and I would know the truth. There was a difference in the anger of a man whose daughter was heartbroken and one who would blame another for his child's demise, without the raging hormones present in an adolescent boy.

And then the dreaded words came. "He's not here right now. He's arranging a funeral."

Heart drop. Stomach tighten. Anguish consuming as I never thought possible, frozen in disbelief as the words settled like lead on my shoulders.

Bella…_crunch_.

The phone began to crack in my grip as my hold tightened around it, and I began to go numb.

Bella … funeral … _crunch, crunch._

If I could have vomited, I probably would have. If emotion could break through the shell of disconnection that was surrounding me and I had the ability to cry, tears would be streaming down my face.

Bella … my Bella … slipped away like the cracked shards of plastic falling to the floor as I released the remnants of my phone from my hand.

I had failed to keep her safe. She had given up. She was gone. And with her, as I had known from the moment I first saw her, went all reason for my existence. There _was_ no reason any longer; it was time.

I remained numb and vacant throughout my entire journey to Italy, where I humbly requested one simple task of the Volturi, what I had only contemplated in the past—to put me out of my misery.

I had always heard from Carlisle that Aro did not waste time, and I had hoped that it would be the case with my plea, but I was to be disappointed. He was intrigued by my request, while Caius sneered and Marcus looked upon me with a sympathetic gaze. When they could not come to an agreement on my fate, they requested that I return once they had an opportunity to discuss it at length.

If I thought the first day was excruciating, it held nothing on the second. My sanity was hanging by a thread after hours of tormenting myself with all that no longer was. Every touch, every kiss, every glance from Bella ran through my mind, with nothing to distract me.

When I was finally summoned back to stand before Aro, Caius and Marcus once again, the hallway seemed as never-ending as the torment filling me. I attempted to reassure myself that it would soon all be over. After all, how could they refuse me? If nothing else, I had broken one of the strictest laws of our kind—I had divulged our existence to a human. The fact that Bella would have never betrayed that confidence by sharing her knowledge with another living soul in life, and the secret had gone with her in death, would make no difference, especially in the eyes of the Volturi.

It was the end, at last. After nearly a century, my existence would finally cease and I was more than prepared for it. I walked through the doors of the large hall and their thoughts grew louder until I came to a stop before them.

_No, this cannot be. How can they find justification for this? "Pardon" me from actions that had swiftly earned an execution for so many of our kind?_

I released a humorless chuckle as Aro tilted his head slightly, disbelief washing over me. "So, you've made up your minds."

Aro gazed at me with a haunting smile and his hands rubbing slowly together. "It was an intriguing debate. We've rarely encountered a vampire who would willingly end his own existence."

"Pathetic. Disgraceful," Caius added, wearing his ever-present sneer and running his eyes over me in disgust, which Aro seemed to find a hint of amusement over.

I could not have agreed with Caius more, although certainly not in the context he intended.

Aro continued in a deceivingly sympathetic tone. "I'm afraid your particular gifts are too valuable to destroy. But if you're unhappy with your lot, join us. We would be delighted to utilize your skills. Won't you consider staying with us?"

I could not help the small, weary laugh escaping me as images ran rampant through his mind, each one including me as a member of the Volturi guard. He believed my "gift" would be a contributory asset, to join their cause and become more of a monster than I had ever conceived of being in all my years with Carlisle. And far worse than I had ever done on my own. My lip curled slightly and I closed my eyes for a moment as I spoke, a renewed emptiness filling my tone. "You know it will happen anyway."

Marcus' eyes slowly shifted and gazed upon me meaningfully. I knew he understood my plight, but he was also well aware of Aro's determination when it came to something he desired. And he desired the acquisition of my abilities. "Not without cause."

I slowly nodded as I turned to leave the room, my own determination settling in even more. There was only one thing left to do, and it was clear that Aro knew it as I heard his final parting words. "Such a waste."

**x-x-x**

Noon was approaching and I stood just inside the doors of the clock tower. It was the end and I embraced the idea like a dear companion, but with that thought, also came the memories of my reason.

Bella. My beautiful Bella. A precious life extinguished. I remembered how she looked at me that day in the meadow, as if I was anything but an abomination. The unconditional love I saw exuding from her eyes—a love I never deserved nor should I have allowed myself to relish, even for a moment.

She was gone. Gone. And even if I could not join her where she most certainly was, I would accompany her in death. I could not bear this world without her living and breathing somewhere within it.

The loud chime echoed from above, resounding in the cove of the doorway surrounding me as I began to make my movements forward and unbuttoning my shirt. Another chime, and then another, each one counting down the moments to my ultimate goal. On the sixth, I shed my shirt and dropped it carelessly to the ground; my eyes fell to the illuminated step before me with the next.

One movement of descent and the sun would be upon me. With the festival in full vigor in the courtyard, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of eyes that would take notice the instant I revealed myself. The glare from my skin would be impossible to ignore and my fate would be sealed at last. There was _nothing_ Aro could do to prevent it after this.

The ninth toll followed the first heavy fall of my foot on the stone below, and I lowered myself down to meet the tenth with my final step. I felt the warmth of the sun I'd avoided for decades, with one exception, hit my skin and I turned my face to the sky as the thoughts of a young child filled my mind.

She was watching me in amazement, wondering if it was just a trick of the light, or if I was actually glittering in the sun. Her eyes never left me as she began tugging on the sleeve of the person beside her. I'd been noticed. Any moment now, it would be over.

"Don't!" I heard as a blunt force struck me with the twelfth and final chime, and I knew it was done. I did not feel even a glimmer of pain and I was suddenly swarmed with a familiar burning scent.

It could not be. I did not belong there. A mistake had been made—or had it? Could this be hell, and I was to be tortured with the feel and smell of her for eternity, wishing for all that could never be and never should have been? Or was there a chance that Carlisle had been right all this time? That despite our unnatural existence, our souls were not completely lost? That our deeds in the immortal life were taken into consideration? But what had I done that would render such a reward? Perhaps I was imagining it.

I brought my hand to her hair and it was just as soft as I remembered. Her body against me was just as warm and yielding as I felt my fingers of my other hand press against her lower back. Her scent, her glorious scent, just as potent as ever. It could only be one thing. "Heaven."

Her breaths were heavy as she tried to extract herself from my hold, but I didn't open my eyes for fear that she would vanish if I did, even if I _was_ in heaven.

"You have to move!"

_What? Why? And why is there such fear and urgency in her voice? _I thought until she finally pulled away and I felt her fingers gripping at the skin of my neck.

"Open your eyes, look at me. I'm alive," Bella panted and I hesitantly acceded to her request, started by the view around me.

She was standing there with me, still in Volterra beneath the clock tower, a sea of red flooding my vision from behind her. She looked just as I remembered—pale, naturally luminous skin, deep, brown eyes, pink, full lips, and a beating heart … human and _alive_.

"You have to move!" she repeated, her hands on either side of my neck as if to snap me out of a trance.

"Bella," was all I could murmur in barely above a whisper, clutching her to me and rushing back inside with her in my arms, the door slamming behind us. I continued to hold her until we were fully inside, refusing to let her go. Yet she pulled away enough for me to look down at her and a renewed flood of elation rushed through me, although I was still hesitant to believe what was right in front of my eyes. "You're here."

"I'm here," Bella breathed out shakily and I could not restrain the laugh of relief that escaped me.

"You're alive."

"Yes," she replied softly and my smile began to falter as I took in her expression.

It did not mirror mine. She was not thoroughly relieved as I was, in fact, remained very tense in front of me. Distraught. Shattered. It was marked even more so by her soft sniffling before she began to speak again.

"I needed to make you see me once. You had to know that I was alive, that you didn't need to feel guilty about anything," she paused in her breathless speech, hesitantly bringing her gaze back to mine, and what I saw in those eyes destroyed me to my core. She was there to save me, but her expression said that she still believed every word I'd spoken in the woods, and didn't expect me to return with her. "I can let you go now."

I began shaking my head, hearing the pain and anguish in her voice. Pain that should never have been there to begin with. "I never acted out of guilt. I just couldn't live in a world where you don't exist."

Bella's brow furrowed in confusion, gazing at me in bewilderment and I could almost see her thoughts, even if I could not hear them. Her pounding heart spoke volumes. "But you said..."

"I lied," I interrupted her, emphasizing my words and hoping she would understand them. "I had to lie, but you believed me so easily."

Bella blinked repeatedly, her lips and breath trembling more as she fought to respond. "Because it doesn't make sense ... for you to love me. I'm nothing but human. I'm nothing."

I watched her eyes lower again in resignation, and I lifted my hand to her soft face in an effort to return them to me. As I responded, I stepped closer to eliminate the remaining distance between us. "Bella, you're everything to me. You're everything."

Bella gazed at me for a moment as I rested my forehead against hers, and then I felt her trembling hand rise to the back of my neck. Her fingers moved along the ends of my hair as she gripped me tightly and met my lips with hers in a heated urgency. It felt as if heaven was welcoming me back all over again. I was not consumed by the desire to drain her. I did not feel the pull to part from her. And for the first time, I allowed myself to kiss her without the normal restraint I used to practice unyieldingly.

All too soon, our moment was broken by the footfalls and menacing thoughts of two of the approaching guard. Felix and Demetri. And they had a message.

"I won't be needing your services after all, gentlemen," I said, still holding Bella protectively against me.

"Aro wants to speak with you again," Felix's voice responded, staring at me intently with a heavy robe draped over his arm.

"No rules were broken," I stated in a firm voice, casting him a look that I hoped would be more convincing, and less revealing to the falsehood I had just spoken.

"Nonetheless, we should take this conversation to a more appropriate venue," Demetri said with a careless air, and his chin rising indignantly.

"Fine," I replied, resolving myself to my fate, but I would not risk Bella. As long as she was safe, what happened to me was irrelevant. With the sounds of Alice's nearing thoughts, I knew that all I had to do was get Bella outside and both of them away from there. "Bella, why don't you go and enjoy the rest of the festival?"

"The girl comes with us," Felix stated resolutely.

My body tensed and began to move in order to shield Bella a little more from their hungry stares. "No, you can go to hell." The heavy clang and rattle from the latch on the door sounded and my sister floated in as if she didn't have a care in the world, but I knew better. Her manipulative little mind was alive with activity, plotting every way possible to extract Bella, as well as myself, from the Volturi's presence. "Come on, guys. It's a festival. You wouldn't want to make a scene."

Felix locked her with a stare and a barely noticeable, ominous grin. "We wouldn't."

"Enough," a bored voice came from down the hall and we all looked up to see a petite blonde removing the hood of her robe as she made her way toward us.

I bowed my head in recognition, but also resignation of what was inevitably to come. "Jane."

"Aro sent me to see what was taking so long," Jane stated, her eyes moving sinisterly between each of us, landing on me again before turning to lead the way back down the hall.

Bella trembled beside me and looked to Alice, who whispered for her to just do as Jane said.

I briefly released her hand long enough to don the robe handed to me by Felix. The sun from the windows along the hall struck my skin briefly before I covered myself and quickly reclaimed my hold on Bella. When Jane instructed us to go on ahead of her down the stairs, I gave Bella's hand a gentle squeeze and tilted my head slightly toward her. "Don't be scared."

She shifted a little closer to me as we walked, her shuddering increasing rather than subsiding. "Are you?"

"No," I answered in a calm, level voice. I had no fear of what would happen to me, but I did not wish to frighten her further by showing how much I feared for her. However, I also remained mindful of the thoughts around me, particularly with the potent scent of the little human beside me, surrounded by vampires who thought nothing of life.

Jane's scoff did not go unnoticed and the tension was high all the way to the elevator, where one look back from Demetri at Bella caused my internal guard to rise. I had seen a look like that before; in fact, I was almost certain I _bore_ that look before. The scent of her blood filled even the wide open space upstairs, it was sure to be even worse in the confines of that elevator. I could feel his stare continuing on her all the way down, and I was certain that Bella felt it, too. Her fingers tightened around mine as she nervously looked to Alice again, as my sister fought just as hard to keep an air of calm…very unsuccessfully, I might add.

We all made our way down the long hallway toward our destination and we were met by the rising of a beautiful, smiling woman behind a desk, greeting us in Italian.

Bella watched her as we passed before bringing her eyes back to me. "Is she human?"

"Yes."

"Does she know?" Her voice lowered almost conspiratorially.

I hesitated for a moment, knowing this could lead to a terrifying result in words that I did not wish Bella to be subjected to. "Yes."

"Then why would..." Bella began and then paused, realization dawning on her almost instantly and she sighed. The young woman was condemned, albeit by her own doing. "She wants to be."

"And so she will be," Demetri spoke from behind us, a lilt of humor in his voice as his focus remained on Bella.

Jane, on the other hand, merely added in her smooth, even tone. "For dessert."

In a swift motion, Jane swung open the doors of the large hall I had left just that morning, and once again, my eyes locked on the three figures at the head of the room. How ironic it was that when I had come to them, pleading for death, they had denied me. Yet, now that I had every reason to survive, and she was walking right beside me, I was to be granted my initial request. And everything I had endeavored to protect her from, everything I had left for, would transpire there in that very room.

And _that_ was when the guilt set in. Perhaps I had been wrong in my decision to leave, despite my intentions. Danger had still found its way to her, even without my presence. At least if I had stayed, I could have protected her rather than leaving her wounded and more vulnerable to yet _more_ danger. She never would have been on that cliff. Alice would not have had to return to Forks, because we never would have left. There would have been no call from Rosalie, no anguish tearing through me at the thought of Bella's death, and there would have been no trip to Italy. Nothing that would have led up to that moment, alongside my sister, walking hand-in-hand toward our impending demise. I hadn't protected her then, but I _would_ protect her now.

"What a happy surprise. Bella is alive after all. Isn't that wonderful? I love a happy ending," Aro said with a gleeful grin as he made his way toward us, his hand reaching for mine as he came to a stop just in front of me. Bella gasped softly as I was extracted from her grasp and he took hold of my hand instead.

"They are so rare," he added

It was a moment I had been avoiding right up until then, having been told by Carlisle what a simple touch from Aro would entail. He would see too much, know too much, and it would endanger so many around me. Most of all, he would see Bella and everything she was—more than just a human I shared our secret with, more than simply a girl I fell in love with. So much more. She was meant for me in a way that few others would ever know.

His eyes remained on Bella, and when they moved back to me, I took a breath as I tensed slightly when his thoughts focused on her. The alluring scent, his desire for her blood as strong as if he'd channeled it all straight from me, and his fascination by it all. "Il tua cantante. Her blood appeals to you so much. It makes me thirsty. How can you stand to be so close to her?"

I watched his hungry stare move between the two of us, watching the heavy clearing of the venom that was surely gathering in his mouth with his thirst. His gaze settled on Bella for longer than I felt comfortable with and I drew his attention back to me with the thoughts of my similar struggles with control. "It's not without difficulty."

"Yes, I can see that," he replied with an amused laugh as I accomplished my goal.

However, Bella was obviously confused at my side, and as I explained to her what was happening, it was almost as if I could feel Aro extracting every thought and memory from within me. I knew the instant he saw exactly what he needed when his gaze shot to me again, and his eyes flickered with the realization of what must be done. And what I _would_ do if any harm came to Bella. I heard his astonishment at the depth of my love and absolute devotion to the girl beside me, and of her protection and safety. He would have to destroy me before I allowed anything to happen to her, and as his thoughts gave away, that was still not an option in his mind.

"And now you know everything. So get on with it," I said in a resolute, almost challenging tone as my eyes locked with his.

Aro stared at me for a moment before a smile touched his lips and a relaxing calm seemed to settle over his features. "You are quite a soul reader yourself, Edward."

His curious eyes began moving between Bella and myself, and even without the benefit of hearing his thoughts, the process behind them was very clear to read on his face. There was a battle of wills transpiring between us, one he was sure he would win, and his amusement became more clear as his gaze lingered on Bella.

"Though, you can't read Bella's thoughts," he said slowly, as if absorbing the information he'd extracted from me once again, and his eyes shifted to her. They quickly returned to me in maniacal wonderment. "Fascinating."

My hand returned to my side when he finally released it and took three calculated steps back, a plan formulating in his mind. I despised the idea of Bella being used as a pawn in his twisted little game, all to satisfy his own curiosity, but confronting him head-on would place her at too much risk.

"I would like to see if you are an exception to my gifts as well," he continued in a deceptively gentle tone, at which Bella moved closer to me. His eyes were fixated on her as he held out his hand in offering. "Would you do me the honor?"

I watched as Bella stalled for a moment and then timidly began moving forward, her hand hesitant to make contact with his. Aro's smile grew as she stepped closer and he finally took her extended hand and instantly pulled her closer, closing his eyes in concentration. The others watched, in particular Caius and Marcus behind him, with rapt attention, all riveted by all that had been discovered thus far.

Aro's head rose with an awestruck look on his face. "Interesting."

I tried to contain the satisfied smirk I felt fighting to break through. It already frustrated Aro to an extent that my gift, in his approximation, was more powerful than his was, as I did not require the need for physical contact. However, this one insignificant girl rendered his power just as useless.

"I see nothing," he continued and released Bella, but as she stepped back to me and his back turned to us, I could hear him silently devising his next course of action. "I wonder if … Let us see if she is immune to all our powers. Shall we, Jane?"

His smile was haunting when he turned back around to face us as he spoke, and only grew with his attention returning to Jane. _That is going way too far, even for someone as insanely sadistic as Aro,_ I thought and rushed forward. "No!"

With one word spoken from her lips, I was struck by the sudden, brutal force of Jane's ability; pain that was nearly comparable to the intensity of only one other experience of my existence—my change. It was so powerful, I eventually buckled in sharp, rigid movements, barely hearing Bella's pleas to Aro for Jane to stop or feeling Alice crouch beside me. The pain continued to sear through me until, almost as suddenly as it began, it ceased on Aro's order. Although, I felt almost paralyzed there on the floor as a result, but I could finally release a breath.

When I heard Aro give Jane the instruction to proceed on Bella, I felt helpless, frozen on the floor as I fought the lingering effects of the excruciating episode I had just experienced, but willing to take it all over again to prevent it from happening to her. I prepared myself for the screams and cries to assault my ears but none came. Instead, I was met with Aro's maniacal laughter and Jane's frustrated and angry thoughts. Never had anyone been unaffected by any of their gift's before, and Jane seemed sincerely perturbed that hers had been ineffective.

"Remarkable. She confounds us all," Aro said in a captivated voice, truly mesmerized by my Bella. Her eyes met with mine from my position on the floor, and I could see the fear and uncertainty they held, not knowing what to expect next. "So, what do we do with you now?"

"You already know what you're going to do, Aro," Marcus said in his characteristically emotionless tone.

At one point, he had known _exactly_ what to do with the insignificant little human. However, he had seen too much in the last several minutes to still be so certain. After all, how many mere humans could block not one, but three separate vampiric abilities, of which even _vampires_ were not immune. _Seems such a pity,_ he mused to himself until Caius interrupted his train of thought. "She knows too much. She's a liability."

"Hmm. That's true," Aro replied contemplatively, seeming almost disheartened by what he knew he would have to do. The law was the law, after all. In an almost blank tone, he continued. "Felix."

Bella was spun to face the huge brute of a being, and I finally felt able to leap from the floor. I flipped her behind me before she could even blink again, placing myself between her and Felix. Using his disbelief at anyone standing against him, I toppled him to the ground with a nearly imperceptible growl escaping me as I pinned him there. I hoped that Alice could reach Bella in time to shield her from further danger, but as Demetri caught her, my distress claimed me long enough for Felix to thrust me from above him. My body felt weightless as I flew across the room until he reached me once again and slammed me into the floor, hearing the crackling of the marble both beneath me and of my skin.

His grip around my neck released to rise up again to resume his trek toward Bella, and the instant I regained my ability to move, I rushed at him, returning his attention to me. I could hear Aro's amusement with the altercation, how I was never deterred at all through the battle of wills between Felix and myself in our flurry of movements across the room. His eyes followed me closely as I was swung above Felix, shattering the stone steps beside where Aro stood and locking with mine when I was thrust to my knees, seconds from death.

However, the humor dissipated from his features and shifted to one of astonishment as Bella's terrified pleas echoed through the room, begging him to stop and kill her instead. Panic tore through me. What was she doing? She could not possibly mean to sacrifice her life in an attempt to save me. I wanted to stop her, to tell her how foolish she was being, but Felix's grip only tightened on me as Aro slowly moved down the steps. His bewildered gaze and thoughts focused solely on Bella as Felix hoisted me to my feet and turned us both to face her. Her mutual devotion to me fascinated him more than mine to her, having never witnessed anything like it in his over three millennia of existence.

"How extraordinary. You would give up your life for someone like us? A vampire," he began, stopping only a few feet from her and looking back at me. His gaze locked briefly with mine as he taunted me with my thoughts and beliefs he had extracted from me earlier, knowing how Bella had responded to it in the past. "A soulless monster."

The game had just become exponentially more interesting for him; that she was more afraid of harm coming to me than her own demise. Humans were supposed to instinctually fear and recoil from imposing danger, not figuratively throw themselves in front of it in protection. My brave Bella—how foolish she was being.

"Just get away from her," I growled breathlessly through Felix's hold around my throat, and I watched as her expression set defiantly. Stone cold fear shot through me and I wanted to beg her to withdraw, however fruitless I knew it to be.

"You don't know a _thing_ about his soul," Bella seethed boldly, while Aro's grin grew in action and thought.

A confused look came over Bella as he spoke slowly in avid fascination, unable to understand what he was saying. However, my eyes narrowed at him as he turned his head toward me with the last words. Our lives were bound to the other, our existences irrevocably intertwined, and that was a weapon he could use to his advantage. To force my hand in fulfilling his newly acquired aspiration.

"This is a sadness," he began with a dramatic sigh, daring me in tone and thought to accede to his desire. "If only it were your intention to give her immortality."

_Edward, do something!_ Alice screamed at me in her thoughts as Aro began stalking hungrily toward Bella, and I watched my beloved tremble in fear once again. But I knew Aro was merely putting on a show—he would never do what he was leading all to believe. Bella was too vital to him; his thirst for the discovery of what her immortality might bring far exceeding the other. However, he knew her blood was just too potent to perform the change himself, and he had seen firsthand through my memory that not only had I resisted it, but tasted it. And yet, there she stood. My singer. He found my control unparalleled to anything he had ever seen, and assumed I would concede.

Alice, on the other hand, believed the charade. "Wait!"

Aro backed away, though not faking the pool of venom coating his teeth.

"Bella will be one of us. I've seen it. I'll change her myself," she continued, her eyes finding mine as she spoke and I winced in response. She was playing right into Aro's hands and giving him more than he had bargained for, although the only thoughts running through her mind were that of her lack of understanding behind my inaction. How could she not see through this as I had? I couldn't help but to grimace as Aro held out his hand and she removed the glove, setting hers within it. Her mind showed him firsthand the premonition she had of Bella in the future, one I had seen before—face pale, eyes gold, and skin glittering in the sun. And with that one insight came all else that she had seen over the years, of which he had only seen hints of in my own mind, and he began entertaining the thought of acquiring Alice as well. How invaluable her gift would be, particularly in conjunction with mine—to constantly be one step ahead of everyone else.

"Mesmerizing. To see what you have seen before it has happened," Aro spoke with wild eyes, while Alice's seemed to flicker with realization of what she had just done. She could not shield her thoughts from Aro as she accomplished easily with me, and she noted the renewed fascination in his gaze as it returned to Bella. "Your gifts will make for an intriguing immortal, Isabella."

Bella recoiled from him slightly, trembling with uncertainty and fear as his face moved closer to hers.

"Go now," Aro finally said, backing away from her as the temptation became too much and that would not bode well for his intentions. "Make your preparations."

My body lurched forward as Felix released me upon Aro's silent request, and I made my way over to Bella. His intrigue was anything but dimmed as he watched the affection and relief with which she greeted me, practically ignoring all else around him. Even Marcus' none so subtle hint for us to leave, or Caius' subsequent warning.

I, however, could not ignore any of it. I needed to take Bella away from there quickly before she was subjected to yet more horror. I could hear the evidence of the unsuspecting group of tourists being led down the hall, and I needed to get her as far from the vicinity as possible.

"Goodbye, my young friends," Aro bid us farewell in an even more gleeful tone, if that were at all possible, as we hurriedly made our way out of the room.

I held Bella close to my side at first sight of the aforementioned group of tourists, spotting men and women, from the very young to the old, lining the hall. The cleverly cryptic way Demetri and Heidi conversed as they passed with knowing smirks had Alice and I more determined to get Bella out of there. When she attempted to look back, we both endeavored to turn her attention forward again, and more insistently when the shrill screams found their way to our ears.

We could not move out those doors fast enough.

* * *

><p><strong>Most likely just one more part to this, and it shall be marked complete. <strong>

**Thanks again for reading :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**FGB New Moon 5**

It had literally felt like forever since I had sat there, watching my beautiful Bella sleep, and the differences were impossible to ignore. The comfort we had once shared in each other's presence within that room was gone, even as she slept. Rather than stretching out beside her on the bed with her body draped along my side, or occasionally curled up against my chest, I sat closer to her feet, and even that was far more than I deserved.

I could still barely wrap my head around the events that had transpired, the myriad of emotions I thought myself incapable of after almost a century of near dormancy. The ache of loneliness as I had never experienced at being away from her. The devastating and crippling despair when I believed her dead. My resolved surrender to a fate I had only ever contemplated, and with a longing only comparable to one other in my entire existence—Bella herself. The relief to feel her alive and warm in my arms, the agony at seeing her still so broken and shattered, believing she was nothing to me. Fear at losing her all over again, and finally, an emotion I never imagined I would ever feel, at least directed at her—anger.

Bella had, for the lack of better comparison, thrust herself between me and the firing squad, putting her at the ultimate risk once again in an attempt to save me. Did she not understand that it would have made no difference? I still would have perished that day, only after witnessing the destruction of the most important thing in my universe. We would have been parted forever, regardless of the order in which we met our demise, if not for Aro's twisted mind. And then, of course, there was the anger I bore toward Alice. She knew exactly how I felt and why, but more importantly, had given Aro exactly what he wanted; that God forsaken assurance that Bella would be changed, by her, if need be.

However, all thoughts were once again lost as I gazed down at my slumbering angel. If possible, she had managed to grow more beautiful in the passing months, even in her sleep. How had I ever thought that I could survive without her and the peace she brought me? I had known since the moment I met and talked to her that she was the missing element in my so-called life, that I had found my reason for existing.

I was a fool to have ever believed that I could simply walk away from her and never return, to follow her only in the event of death. However, I was no longer that same fool. As I had told her in the very beginning, I was far too selfish of a being to be able to ever do what was best for her and walk away. The evidence of it was right there in that room.

Despite everything that had happened, there I was once again, sitting beside her on that bed and watching her sleep, knowing very well that I would never be able to willingly leave her side again.

Suddenly, soft gasps sounded from the head of the bed and I watched as Bella's face began to wince in her sleep. I had seen it before, both in person and through Charlie's memories during my absence; whatever dream she had been having was shifting into a nightmare. That was probably one of the only, and rare, instances that I would be forever grateful that I was not privy to the inner workings of Bella's mind. I already felt heavy guilt from all the pain and horror I had brought into her life during her waking hours; I would probably never forgive myself if I knew exactly how much of her nightmares were a direct result of my presence in her life. She would have been spared so much had she never met me—danger, heartbreak, and near death…again. Yet, I still could not bear to stay away from her; especially after the agony I had experienced in the twenty-four hours that I believed she was dead. I was selfish and despicable, undeserving of her.

I needed her far too much for her own good—or sanity, for that matter.

Within seconds, those small gasps became more desperate, her body fidgeting beneath the covers in sharp, panicked movements.

"Stop! Stop!" Bella cried out in her sleep and I reached over to touch her shoulders before she roused Charlie again. She jumped slightly as my fingers made contact with her skin, and my hand moved quickly down her arm until it met hers, where it grabbed mine tightly.

Bella's eyes opened and gazed at our joined hands for a moment while trying to catch her breath and gain her bearings. The look on her face as her fingers gently maneuvered mine was that of half-awake confusion, but I could see realization slowly creeping into her features and her eyes began to flicker, hesitant to rise and look at me.

When her gaze finally met mine, her gasps stilled for a moment, but she never retracted her touch. "You're here."

Her voice was soft and her breaths were shaky as they resumed, as if terrified that I would vanish from in front of her.

"You can sleep," I said gently, yet instead of soothing her as I had intended, her eyes filled with fear again and she held my hand more securely. After everything in Italy—every word spoken, every touch shared, and of course, the reason we were all there in the first place—she still did not comprehend just how much she meant to me, or how completely my existence relied upon her. She feared that I would leave her again; it was evident in the look in her eyes and the slight tremble of her lip as she subtly shook her head. "I'll still be here when you wake up."

However, even that did not seem enough to calm her mind and her eyes averted from mine, and I knew with that one gesture that she did not believe me—not that I blamed her. I had hurt her and betrayed her love and trust, with that string of lies that drove daggers into each of our hearts. And even when her eyes returned to me, they did not remain for long, and I could see that it would take so much more to reassure her. She also deserved the answers she was silently asking for.

"Bella, the only reason I left was because I thought I was protecting you," I began and her gaze slowly lifted to me again, still questioning. "I needed you to have a chance at a normal, happy life."

"It was so easy for you to leave," she murmured with a lowered voice and her tone carrying the hurt caused by the firm belief she had in her words.

Caused by me.

"Leaving you was the hardest thing I've done in a hundred years," I replied and watched as her body curled forward, breathing heavily. Although, whether it was relief because she could hear the sincerity in my tone or disbelief in me altogether, I could not be certain, but I would continue to endeavor in regaining her trust for eternity, if I needed to. "And I swear, I will never fail you again."

My eyes were imploring with her to hear my earnest plea, to see how desperately I wished I could turn back time and never have caused her that pain. I brought my hand to her cheek, halfway expecting her to pull away from me, but instead, she held my gaze as I made yet another apology to her—something I would never cease to do.

Our moment was interrupted as I heard Charlie's thoughts stirring as he began making his way up the stairs. He was cursing me again in his mind for the agony and nightmares I had caused for his daughter that were still lingering, and I could not disagree with him. Yet, I knew I needed to make myself scarce before he arrived at her door, for her sake, at least. "Charlie's coming."

Before the door could open, I disappeared from sight. However, even without seeing his face, I could hear the pain and anguish in every word and thought passing through him. He'd been through hell over the past few months, and then, one of the worst terrors a father could experience came to fruition—coming home to find his child gone with only a vague note that did nothing to comfort him, and even less so over the three days that followed. I knew that Chief Swan was not a man to express his emotions openly, even with Bella, but he didn't have to. I could hear it in every word he spoke and in every catch of his breath—he had been terrified that something would happen to her and he would lose his daughter again. Forever, that time.

Again, because of me.

As was usual for him, he attempted to temper his rising emotions due to the heaviness of the conversation with humor, despite the seriousness of the matter, grounding Bella for "the rest of her life".

As he closed the door in his wake, I managed to maneuver my way behind it to remain hidden, only taking the chance of speaking once I heard him returning to the stairs and beginning his descent.

"I'm not technically breaking any of his rules," I said, moving toward her bed and kneeling down beside it. "He did say I couldn't take a step inside the door. I came in through the window."

My own attempt at humor was nearly lost on both of us, save for a small, hint of a laugh from Bella, before the air turned solemn again.

"He's not gonna forgive me easily," I continued and Bella looked to me again, softly agreeing with me. I knew it would be a long road to regain any form of trust with her father, but there was one thing infinitely more important. "Can you?"

Bella's gaze remained lowered for a moment, and I had to admit, it honestly terrified me. Her eyes rose and they held a sadness within them, but remained otherwise unreadable.

"I hope you can, 'cause I honestly don't know how to live without you."

Bella could have said anything to me in that moment. How I should have thought of that before I left her. That she could never forgive the pain I had put her through. That I did not deserve her. And each statement would have been just as valid as the one prior, and yet, she answered me with two soft, simple words. "Come here."

Before I could succumb to the relief that she had not turned me away, I felt her fingers tilt my chin slightly, drawing me closer until her hand lined my jaw and pressing her lips testingly to mine.

Where once I was afraid of the touches and passion shared between us within her room, at that moment, I could not get enough. I returned her kiss, wanting to feel the warmth of her lips against mine, that tingling caused by her touch as she traced her fingertips lightly along my skin. She made me feel like a man, and it was intoxicating. I could not resist touching her anymore and my hand moved from the back of her arm to her wrist, holding her against me as she made to move back slightly. And when she parted from me, I felt the loss so absolutely, it seemed as if I was still drawn to her like a magnet, my lips seeking out hers once more.

Instead, she began to speak. "Once Alice changes me, you can't get rid of me."

"She won't need to change you," I replied immediately and felt her eyes on me, and the anger at my sister returned. That was not what I wanted for Bella, and certainly not what she deserved. "There are always ways to keep the Volturi in the dark."

"No," Bella replied, blinking as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing—as if I would have given in that easily. The look on her face and the tone of her voice told me clearly that it was exactly what she had thought. She believed that the issue had been settled, and in a few short months, she would be one of us. However, I had never agreed to Aro's bargain, and since then, I had been attempting to devise a way around it, to keep Bella both safe and _human_. With her gift, it made the possibility of eluding the Volturi guards more likely, but apparently, that was not what she had been counting on. "No."

I watched her as she angrily rose out of bed and made her way to her dresser, nearly tripping in her haste. It was going to be a long night.


End file.
